I shouldn't be writing this. Theres a million things I should actually be doing and am not, and I really couldn't care less. I guess it's a good thing I write it here, because it means nobody or few people will read this. Oh well, patience. I doubt that I'll ever be brave enounh to show you this, so I supose it means there's no reason to be embarassed, right?
I feel sort of stupid, writing this. So corny. Whatever. I know I keep saying "I don't care", but the point is: I cannot not care about you. Against my better judgment, that keeps telling me it's too soon, against my reasonable mind, that tells me you are still one of them, against all better luck - me, the one who never falls in love, me, who's always cold or desperate at matters of the heart, me - I always jump from one meaningless relashionship to the next - using someone or being used.
I feel warmth.
And it's been ages since the last time I felt like this. I'm not even sure if there was a last time - I feel secure, warm, happy. And at the same time, I feel like if I'm walking in candy-clouds: This is so good I almost don't deserve it.
This is so good that it probably shouldn't be happening to me.